I feel like ki**ing myself everytime I go outside .

Every time I step outside it feels like water boiling slowly. slowly my anxiety rises , I become more hyper aware . is anyone looking at me? i notice many glances , oh my god I want them to stop staring please treat me like I'm invisible. then it gets to a point where I just constantly want to o\*\* myself because I start feeling so uncomfortable I can't even say . but when I get to where I wanted to go the water stops boiling and slowly calms down. I then realise it's not that bad as I thought it was . It's such an uncomfortable feeling when. I'm outside. A few days ago it was my friend's birthday but I couldn't eat anything because my appetite died , I was so anxious the whole time . Feeling so out of place . The feeling where you think everyone is staring at you and noticing how anxious you are .