Currently on 0.25mg Xanax, awaiting a psychiatrist referral. Is it appropriate for daily use at that strength? What about the lowest dose of Klonopin?

27/F/Metro Detroit, MI I have had anxiety pretty much all of my adult life. I was the caregiver of my now late (69F) disabled mother who passed in December 2024 from cholangiocarcinoma (from diagnosis to death in 4 months). My brother had a paranoid schizophrenic episode after she died, and he is my only family I have left since my mom's side has all passed of old age. We do not talk much. I never had my dad or his family in my life. My family is just me. My boyfriend is my only support system and I see him 2x a week. I have had trauma since my mom passed for sure. It took a lot of courage for me to go to my PCP (the same one my mom had, so she knows the entire story) and get blood work done and to start talking about my anxiety. The first time I visited, she suggested Hydroxyzine with either Zoloft/Lexapro, but I do not want to take an SSRI for personal reasons (mainly because my brother took them when we were younger and it completely changed his personality; he was very zombie-like, and because my family is just me now, I have too many responsibilities to be feeling like that. I am worried about too many side effects.) With the Hydroxyzine 25mg, it worked the first 2 days (but I also slept almost the entire time). Throughout 2 weeks of consistent use, I found it did not help with sleep or insomnia, but instead, made me feel very paranoid (I would be showering and have to turn it off several times because I heard something, I'd be nervous I left the stove on if I left my house and had to come back, I'd be worried someone would break into my home late at night, etc.) Just weirdly irrational thoughts and vivid nightmares (mostly about people like my mom or boyfriend dying). She then switched me to Buspar 7.5mg (which I had been on since around Thanksgiving) and it worked for a couple weeks (not taking it every single day but most days (4/5) of the week). Again, I was having vivid nightmares, and my anxiety was not being controlled much. If I took 1, it didn't do much, if at all. 1.5 was ok, and 2 made me feel unfocused/spacey/high? I still had panic attacks/a sense of overwhelm which would make me just bawl for no apparent reason. I went back on Monday and told her this and that I wanted to get a psychiatrist referral because it's been a while and I don't know what my other options are without an SSRI. My anxiety typically manifests as racing thoughts, overwhelmed with worry, and I find myself crying and feeling guilty and lonely most days of the week because I live alone and have a lot of responsibilities and financial issues, as well as things that have continued from my mom's passing (ongoing homeowners claim, delinquent house taxes, etc). My PCP just prescribed me Xanax 0.25mg on Monday while I wait for the referral in the next week or two. So far, it feels like it has worked better than the other 2 meds, but I know there's such a stigma around benzos that typically you shouldn't take them as a daily medication. I have taken a half of the Xanax 0.25mg yesterday and another half today. It helps with the usual anxiety I feel, like I actually feel more like myself and it has been easier to fall asleep/stay asleep/wake up fully rested. On Tuesday, I took a full one when I had a panic attack and it also helped, but I wished it would've lasted a little longer. She was debating between Xanax or Klonopin, saying the Xanax would work faster but the Klonopin usually lasts longer due to its half life. I only was given 10 pills until the psychiatrist appointment. My question I guess is, would it be wrong to try to ask the new Psychiatrist to be on the lowest dose of a benzo for daily use? I am wondering if I should ask to try the Klonopin as it would work longer. Like I mentioned, breaking the 0.25mg Xanax in half has also helped with the daily anxiety, and with it being a low dose, I don't necessarily know if that would be a red flag vs being recommended to try another medication. This is about 4 months of trying different medications with a lot of side effects and so far, this has been more beneficial than the other 2. I would appreciate any advice you have for me. Thank you.