i hate being mentally weak

i’ve always hated how people pitty me i hate needing people but i realized i always needed someone i just talked to anyone about my mental issues they always looked at me like i’m crazy and like i’m overacting and that i can control if . I hated all of this but i always made the same mistake and opening up i felt like they looked at me like someone lower than them . This is not the real problem i suffered for 9 years from depression isolation panick attacks and i don’t know how far this will go i dont know if i can handle this forever . my body feels different i feel weak pain lazy i cant do even daily chores i lost my true feelings i cant laugh anymore nor cry i dont know what’s happening to me but its never getting better