just a thought

Honestly, I (22F) don't think I should have ever been born. I wouldn’t say God made a mistake, bc i don’t think God made me. Sometimes I think I am the only person on Earth who is this messed up. I would go to therapy, but the therapist would probably report me to a mental institution or something. And I don't know what to do. I try to not care about the fact that I hurt other people by being so distant, but at the end of the day when it's just me by myself, I can't help but be extremely depressed. I would kill myself, but im afraid to die and i also have too much going on in my life to kill myself now. I would just disappoint too many people. even expressing this makes me feel like a pick-me and i freaking hate it. i freaking hate myself and i wish i could just die.