I feel like an incompetent mess and I can't even begin to apply

hi, I'm 21 years old and I've never applied for a school application in my life. I don't know what I'm doing, and I'm just spiraling in the back of my mind. I'm also in a very strange situation. sorry, I don't know if this is the right flair or what not, but I don't know. I don't feel comfortable talking about this with anyone so I've come here when I rarely use my Reddit account. all I know is that actually trying to fcking apply for school and do all that hard research and everything... it makes me want to lose my mind. everything is so daunting, and all of this hard stuff I've always had someone else take over for me, like my caretakers and such. I also hate doing research, so I'm just shooting myself in the foot. every single time I think about doing something hard or daunting, I just freeze and are unable to do anything. it also doesn't help that I'm trying to gain a better life. I'm an international student who has relatives in the states, so I'm trying to keep their favor in order to get there. (I know, despite everything rn). But I can't help but be scared, and because said relatives think I'm wasting my time by not going to school they're frustrated about my lack of progress. (the most I've done so far is the FAFSA, and even then that took like, around a month to finish) researching colleges, applying for them, writing letters and emails... I know everyone has done them,but I can't help but feel overwhelmed. what is help supposed to feel like? I'm either given instructions that I struggle to follow, or the task is taken over by someone else. please, give support, or maybe advice. I know I shouldn't care what people think and just follow my own pace, but I fear that they're right. I know I can do things, I just can't bring myself to do them. I don't know how to do anything, and despite being a grownass adult, I feel like a fucking child. How do I mitigate my anxiety and be a functioning human adult? I'm so sick of myself being this way, but these habits can't be broken no matter how hard I can try