Masking in my relationship is killing me

I’m in a relationship with a girl since a few months and she expressed how unseen she feels with me. I have combined severe ADHD. I’ve started to feel guilty and started to do what I thought were more and more efforts, while I now realize how those efforts are only masking. I think I struggle to differentiate what bad aspects I have and what my symptoms are. So i tend to always focus on her when I feel my mind wants to run around, tell her what she wants to hear all the time, take her criticisms very seriously and immediatly change myself to match what she wants. She needs a lot of attention while I want to run around, and it’s a sign I don’t love her while I really can love someone by coming home, say hello and then run around do random stuffs comfortably in my own head without the necessity to always be next to each others looking at each other in the eyes. And now i can’t recognize myself anymore. I‘m constantly fighting my lack of attention and It’s exhausting me so much. Somehow when I think of ending this relationship, some random spiraling on totally irrelevant matters starts to convince me to stay. i don’t know what to do