ADHD makes me feel like I’m constantly failing at a life I’m trying really hard to hold together.. momma of 2

I was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, and it changed the way I see my entire life. For so long, I thought I was just lazy. Or careless. Or broken in some way I couldn’t explain. The truth is, I care deeply. Probably too deeply. I think about everything I need to do. I want to be better. I want to be consistent. I want to be someone people can rely on. But wanting it and being able to execute it feel like two completely different things. In my head, I’m trying all the time. I’m constantly thinking about how to fix my life, how to improve, how to become more stable, more organized, more “normal.” But from the outside, it doesn’t look like effort. It looks like inconsistency. It looks like not caring. It looks like I’m not trying at all. And that’s the part that hurts the most. Because I am trying. Every day. It just doesn’t translate into visible progress the way it seems to for other people. It makes me feel behind. Like everyone else became an adult at the right time, and I’m still figuring out things they mastered years ago. Like I’m rebuilding myself from scratch while everyone else is already established. I’m learning that ADHD isn’t about intelligence or capability. It’s about regulation. It’s about a brain that doesn’t always cooperate with your intentions. I’m trying to have compassion for myself. Trying to understand that my timeline doesn’t have to look like everyone else’s. But it’s hard not to feel like I’m late to my own life.