wanna see ur thoughts :D

hi to whoever read this! idk where to talk else but i found this place, im not sure if im definitely depression or not.. but i went throguh a lot of things, somehow i thought i might be not the same person if i didnt went through all of things in the past, yet so my current life was not the good one either. im still minor but im no longer going to school. there was a lot of problems, involved my parents too, that made me no longer trust them or "open" to them. it's been 3 years i think, i probably in the grade 9 rn. 3 years i spent most of my time through phone, internets, no social. i did everything through my phone; whether education i learned, saw people's experience, etc. ive played a games and yes i did make a friend at there, but i think ive never fully tell about my life cuz i thought maybe they couldn't really care about it, or maybe ill ended up being regret cuz im oversharing while they didnt care. i feel so clueless, feels like i have nobody that i can really trust each other, it's like im already in the moment that i can't even trust to my own family, well yes i still live with them, still finance me. but like im doing the same things everyday, and its not like im always happy to living it, idk how to explain but feels so uncomfortable in here, they're weird to me, idk am i too sensitive or ocd that im always seeing their single details behavior that seem weird and not a thing that people's do. and also, i and them were so much different; maybe from the way of thinking, religions, etc. they're very religious i guess, and i kind of hate it cuz it's definitely not reflecting the truth of themselves. idk this was so messed up and it feels like there's no way to get out of these circles. and my old school's friend weren't good neither, i was kinda got bullied and im also quite nerd and dont know how to socialize at that time, im also realized that my parents weren't really raised me in a good way cuz letting me went through those kind of things. yet so now i feel better enough and so many things i've learned through social media n stuff that makes me no longer a nerd. but idk it feels kinda pointless cuz i have no friends though. well i once thought to fleeing out but it such a immature way i guess, how could i live without they finance me though. and im still underage so the more it worse. so yeah whoever read these im so appreciate it! share ur thoughts or advice that would be help for me :D thank u so much! :]