I think I'm transmasc but my girlfriend is a lesbian.

I have been kind of hiding from the truth because I don't want to loose the love of my life if I transition. we have been together almost a decade so it's not like this is someone I can just give up on. when I say I love her I mean I love her like the way people dream about loving someone. Im very lucky. She is sooo so lesbian, everything she loves is lesbian, she has never and will never be interested in men. But I hate myself so much. I hate the body she loves. we have so many trans friends and she has said something to make me think she would be supportive. but what if I know her better than she does? what if I just know that if I transition. some day she will find that she just can't be will me. I've spent so many years already choosing her instead of transition and I don't know how long I can do that. I feel so stuck. im sorry I don't even know what the question is here