I need advice

I made a post about this before but realized I never actually asked the advice I needed. About a month ago I lost my boyfriend. It wasn’t because we didn’t love each other it was more that we couldn’t understand each other properly. He’s AuDHD and I have ADHD with a lot of anxiety, and I kept overthinking his reactions and looking for reassurance until it exhausted both of us. At the time I didn’t really see how much my anxiety was affecting things. Over the past month I’ve reflected a lot and worked on myself not fixed, but calmer and more aware. Part of me wants to reach out one day, but I worry he’d still see me as who I was back then and not who I’m trying to become now. I don’t want to reopen wounds or pressure him. For people who’ve been in a similar situation did you ever reach out again? If you did, how did you know it was the right time?