feeling hopeless

i’ve known i had hypo for a long time, but i only somehow recently found out it was caused by hashis. it’s been great to know for real, because all of my symptoms line up to a T, and i had been really struggling to treat conditions that weren’t the root cause of my fatigue and pain. i’m in a flare right now, taking my second day off work, and it’s really getting to me. i had a very busy week and weekend, and i think it’s finally caught up. it’s so frustrating. i want to feel like a “normal” person but i’m tired even on good days and can hardly think, let alone do anything except sleep and try my best to eat, on bad days. my 9-5 saps all my energy and on the weekends i have to do chores instead of being able to rest, if i can even manage. i never feel like i’m able to do everything i want to do. i have the occasional good, busy weeks or days—and then i crash, like this, and it feels like shit. i just want to feel like i can do everything i want. i’m so jealous of people who clean their houses, work, make dinner, have plans, all in the same day. i’m gaining weight because i can’t manage to properly plan my meals and am eating a ton of crap, which i know isn’t helping, but i don’t have the energy to make dinner every night. taking sunday to freeze food is an idea, but who knows if i’ll have the energy to do it then? i finally have a referral to endocrinology and i want to feel hopeful, but i’m just too tired to feel anything else. i know someone out there, probably more than just one person, feels the same. im sending you so much love and care. you’re not alone in how you feel and it sucks and is hard but you’re doing your best every single day.