Loneliness and guilt in my relationships

TLDR- 26 (M) struggling with how my condition is affecting my relationships. Hi all, I am reaching out here because I am so overcome by guilt. I feel guilty for the cancelled plans, the worried love ones, the disappointed parents. The funny thing is everyone is so supportive. No one has really said anything to make me feel this way. But I do. I feel so fucking guilty. It's honestly the most painful part of all of this for me. Mostly I can deal with sleeping all day, I can deal with moving less, I can deal with struggling to care for myself but I feel so completely broken when I think about the people around me. The shame when I wake up at 4pm and my mother is coming back from work. The guilt of cancelling people I hardly get to see. The embarrassment of having to say I have no job, no money, no home of my own. I feel like a let down . I'm writing this from quite a low place. I've been struggling with my symptoms for a couple of years now but the symptoms have recently been crashing down on me with increasing intensity. I'm in a flare (medium-high for me, probably lower for most) and had to cancel plans with my father. I finally told him why I keep cancelling and he took it very well and was so kind which, somehow, makes me feel even worse. These feelings cause me to back up further into this cold, isolated cave and away from love and support. I sugarcoat things as much as I can, leave details out etc. Sometimes I get honest with my few close friends, but I still have to make it humerous or quickly move on. I know it's very good to reach out to loved ones, but when I am pain all the time I feel like it is too much for them. One of my closer friends recently said she thought it'd be better to go for no contact. She said it was for her own personal reasons but when I've just lost my job, my pet, my close friend, my money and turned 26 I can't help but feel like everyone is quietly evacuating a sinking ship while I go down with it. I just want to cry all the time lately. I'm currently going through lots of testing so there's hope it could be something else. But I'm terrified this is it. Or even worse, this will continue to get worse. I'm constantly flip-flopping between believing I can somehow simply manifest my health back and that there's absolutely no hope and I'm completely fucked. I just needed to send these feelings, somewhere, into the ether. I hope it can at least perhaps resonate with others to know they're not alone in these feelings. Sending you all love and healing. Thank you.