i’d like some insight please.

i’m going to try to make this as short as i can because i can easily write a book on how i’ve been feeling more days than not i think in worst case scenario catastrophic thinking and it’s very draining. i have a great life with great people and i always think about what if i lose everyone. what if i lose everything. i worked so hard to get to where i am and i feel like something somewhere is out to get me and take it all away from me. just to watch me suffer and laugh. i feel like truman in the truman show. i thought about medication but im torn with that too because im thinking of the side effects that might come with it. i’m so used to thinking a specific way im also scared to have that change also. maybe it wont make me as hungry or dedicated or determined. idk, this is kind of just a vent session but if anybody wants to give me some advice or had some success with altering their self destructive mind, let me know. probably wont keep this up too long if i feel embarrassed but i appreciate anybody that takes their time to comment