my mom has MS and i may be going crazy

i dont know this is like a vent or something but i seriously need help and dont know where else to write i am an 18 year old musician and my mom has been living with MS for 6-8 years or so and she is a very important figure in my life which i see and talk to everyday. and this does not effect my psychology really well especially ever since i’ve been planning to study music in conservatory… and all of my body parts (most importantly hands) happened to look so important in my eyes with my mothers examples over the years i can clearly say that there are lots of people with MS who have children that also has developed MS. i try to act strong but this SCARES ME. SO MUCH. like so much that my body shakes as i am writing this. i have not been feeling good about this for months now. i started watching my body 24/7 my legs hands eye movements.. literally ANYTHING. i wake up and the first thing i do is literally check everywhere of my body trying to see if i have any problems. and i realized that the more i do this the more my body is tired and vulnerable and i have been shaking everywhere for a week now and i think i may be going crazy im not scared to die nor scared to live with MS or anything else but im so freaking scared of not being able to make music i dont know what to do i guess i want to talk or find some people who are in the same situation as me (parents MS) i dont really know sorry for my bad writing im not feeling really well mentally much love thanks