How do I know I am not cis?

Hello everybody. I hope this is the right place to ask this. I am currently 26M. I am pretty sure I have at no point in my life affirmatively felt to be a man. It just really felt like this is the hand I am dealt and I can somehow make it work. I really have no idea how relatable these ideas are, but it always felt unsure wether I would stay a man. Like, I have no plan of transitioning but some people only really find out they are trans in their 40s, who am I to say I will not be one of those people? Trans people just always felt brave, a sort of bravery I just do not have. I also have felt for quite some time that , despite knowing full well about all the oppression experienced by them, it is just easier being a woman. Like being a woman is really the only way to be truly a human being. I am thinking like this for a good decade, but only in the last weeks has it tipped to actively questioning my gender identity. I had my birthday last week which falls generally into a sort of quarter-life crisis. I have done a lot of introspection on my life much deeper than I had before. The cause, as far as I can identify, is that in this time I have also made steps to try and find a partner. I never really had a romantic relationship and barely any friendships, connecting to people has always been hard due to many aspects. I also did not really seriously seek it out for at least 7 years due to either lack of interest / opportunity, body image problems or just general hopelessness. And last week a thought (seemingly) randomly popped into my mind: I want to be a lesbian. It feels wrong, like it is offensive to even think about because it seems absurd to me that anyone could ever see me as anything else but a man. But in the aspect of dating, I just detest being seen as man. I define myself as asexual, so I do not fit the mold of what a cishet male should be anyway, but thinking about it, I do now want to be loved as a man at all. Like this is not what I am. I feel like I want to be a lesbian because that is really the only love that seems possible and worthwile. I really cannot say anything else. I do not know wether I am a man, a woman, non-binary or something else. I also do not know wether I am just losing myself in my thoughts. I just want to ask wether I am onto something here with the possibility of being trans and what I can/should/could do to actually find out wether it is the case. I also would like to discuss this with some trans people I know irl, but am unsure on how to breach this topic, so any suggestions would be very welcome.